Nebraska

how i miss you

lightning bug

how i miss you

little one

how i miss the snow

my how you've grown

how i miss

you pretty babe

it'll just be

another day

says the man

from the radio

looking back

i understand things

which i never thought

i'd understand before

you are you own

i may place one word

at your feet.

call this your own

you may

believe these words

i gift to you trapping

you are,your

own poem

guarantees are for,the lost,

we live with

belief in possibility

you topple over

black and you in

puddles brewed

beneath you

let your dark side

in(to fear) with

your pathetic
(you are pathetic)
side.

if you wanted

to slice my face- if

you thought about

it long enough you

would hate my face.

giving away your

dark side.

i thought about

the end of it -

lengths and twists

forgot i

would not lend to you

oak oars

by lights to hear

only the story of you-

your hands clenched

and balled to death.

corner stored

I sat to watch in silence,

the resting Wren

who sat to watch in

silence a young pup

who will one day

be without a grand

father clause to come

Happen chance would

be the superstition of any

beast if these beasts knew

they had been lured by morning sun

for rest

i should take

this pill

either or

neither one

or dream

where once trees

of long years were

raised, i have seen

cemeteries in their

place

we make room for

the dead. we make room

for the old. where

two lives tip

we've let one fall

softly

beneath the earth

sunken and whole

i picked from her

the seeds

of long years coming,

the sun children

who would one day

reach out as tall

as their gratitude

beneath them

the rotted earth

the musk and dirt

would lie those

forgotten and unknown

Maggie before the Storm

Take from me
My mind
My soul.
Leave only that
Heart
devoted to you
devoured.

imperious

Still there is steam

left in this soul

Made a murderer

smile with a life

Saved is what i

used to feel i,

used and sold. Used

less and more to get

Solid oak for a smile.

It would be a waste now

to hold your breath.

[y]our house

Across the water

this house

Built in the Spring

The year you left

This house, my companion

my therapy, My competitor.

I have had dinner in every room this

house, the porch being most beloved.

I have the Sun, a guest over for

breakfast, somedays He is late, and we

share white white heat for brunch.

One night, as two moons hung in

the sky, I sat on my gem of a porch

listening, to the water that lies just

across the field.

I heard them first, and soon without

realizing, saw them approach.

I watched them carefully so and I,

Crept inside the house creaking along

the door and boards, and sat quiet and

upright in my chair. admired

of the porch beloved.

The chair I built after this house-

It was meant to be your chair.

With Maggie, my rifle upon my lap, I

sat and watched a friend of Shadow

creep and slide across my floor

They peered around, eyes already

adjusted. Turned a neck and peered through

the barrel of Maggie.

Without recognizing I heard the

scream before the shot.

Blood boiling screams. Shrill, terrible

gargling a curse.

And then, only the water.

The river flowing from the pond.

Before I spread my fingers across their face,

in the Day's longest moment. I

prayed it would be you.

Your god did not hear me.

He heard only the blood river over

wood plains.

sweet dreams

push, sweat, pull, stretch

you open the spaces,

i the eye, wrestling in place

dodging you,

you the stinging and

salty sweat beads shall

be bristled by lashes,

fallen to the floor

each splash a reminder

that true north lies just

between your ear and scalp

each ounce a tribute

of your tongue. an altar

to your lip

each barrel

an affirmation

that i would do anything

for you Maggie.

she was not just

another notch in his belt.

she was another

star in his open sky,

her celestial body

reeled in after the

million year harvest.

it was the hundred year flood

in which she was first noticed.

each one called her dazzling

each one called her reflection -

dazzling

it was a million years before we really saw her.

there were thousands that had her glow,

thousands before her.

there were hundreds that had her charm.

hundreds during her reign.

and ten or more that were more delightful

in their presence than she would imagine herself

i did not enjoy her because she was sacred.

i enjoyed her, because she was not mine.

fatigue sets the table

i walk between

ankle and toe

stepping over veinous valleys

mountain ales quench

between tongue tips and teeth

to hold you beneath any

great deal of me seems a

definite moment

of betrayal, of bewilderment

begging to be broken by

beginnings

but once you start and head on

i see not one lasting minute of

forgiveness

i only find it difficult to apologize

just before we kiss

i only find it difficult to kiss

when you don't know i am apologizing

hospital blues

one of those mornings i'd

won over the last of her mouth

four hungry eyes

for feeding through late hours

three days passing

there in slow, deliberate silence

eight more thoughts

ate away at my favored conscience and

two stubby fingers

to peruse my beard

too long now for it's own shadow

a hundred lives

brick and mortar.

he picked his weapons

pushed his shoulder blades

as far back as he could push

his shoulder blades

he rested on the mostly fallen

leaves

the mostly fallen leaves rested

on the freshly fallen snow

the freshly fallen snow left

to rest upon the freshly frozen

grass

beneath the grass were footprints

beneath footprints were footprints

one step from fire, one step from

the pull of immense weight,

this earth had been scorched.

this particular particle part of

earth had been left to heal

beneath the heel of this earth

my heart beneath the heel of my heart

miles is a drive

It sometimes was not my place

to speak

up and at 'em.

With closed mouth i scratched my eye

browsing the compact space between us.

Looking for a way in, kneeding away at

our silence.

A cold scratch from my finger

nailed the minor bruise of our "worries."

Our companion

shipped out and between buoys,

that light before you isn't blinding anymore

i've stared and stared and started to stare

in the face of that light.

It dies before i do, but i will still look upon it's

glow as i pass from this world

back to the nothing i was before i was nothing

before,

i was nothing.

underline

"Underline."

she scampered to my hip

"You must understand,

underline."

i wasn't sure she knew that i

was hearing everything she said.

each perfect syllable climbing the

ropes into my canals.

wishful thinking was our wish.

our common denominator upon which

we whistled, and for this i can't hear a single word.

to be or just to be

You don't have to be the first to clap

just a part of the applause.

It's ok to be the last one to smile

so long as you share the joy.

You mustn't be the first to jump

in line.

She spoke to me these words and i

was confident she said three were's.

I took her speech lightly upon my heavy heart.

since i left my home

my home

beneath the roll of canvas

beneath the tumble of each hill.

ambushed.

my home.

next to the porch

and his kerosene lantern

there is another

one i have never met

never spoken of until i left

sitting quietly on the edge

the chair of the porch

tumbling

tumbling

great distances he

wishes to reach

with each rock

and forth

ever closer to tipping

his hat

his scale

tumbling into

the distant earth.

Germans 'R Us

So heavy

the panting,

our beating,

we could only turn our backs

on the Sun

and decided to walk

miles upon miles

upon miles

upon miles

until we were out of sight.

The weight of each beam

upon our shoulders

with each step caused us

to walk further into the earth

until our knees met the ground

We trudged

or tried to.

Our motivation became weary,

endeavoured our hearts fought on

and on

and on.

As slow as time we pushed our way

but it was no use. By now all our luck

was in our pockets, buried deep in the dirt.

As the last sinking breath seemed to fade

so set the Sun.

Brisk the night air flooded my lungs

through my body wave upon wave

upon wave

of cold oxygen inhabited me.

I began to feel renewed.

Rest is what I decided on

so I stretched my hands out upon the ground

and lay the visible half of my body on the earth.

I took in each cold and dewy breath,

relieved from the day's work.

These eyelids fell fast and minutes later

I awoke. The air warmer than before

I lay to rest.

I took a sip from

the grass before I raised

my bedewed dorsum,

and turned up my face,

and winced my eyes,

which were greeted by the Sun.